Healing After Birth Trauma

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention—birth trauma. It’s not just the physical stuff; it’s the emotional and psychological toll that can stick with you long after you’ve given birth. Whether it’s an emergency C-section, a complicated delivery, or feeling unheard or out of control during labor, birth trauma can shake you in ways you never expected. And the hardest part? It’s that no one really talks about it. You might feel like you’re supposed to be glowing and grateful, but instead, you’re left with confusion, sadness, and a whole lot of "What the hell just happened?"

You need to hear this: it’s okay to feel all of those things. It’s okay to grieve, to feel angry, to feel anxious, and to need time to heal. Your experience, whether it was physically traumatic or emotionally overwhelming, matters. And just because you're holding your baby now doesn't mean you should be expected to “move on” right away.

Why Birth Trauma Is More Than a "Bad Experience"

The truth is, birth trauma is complicated. It’s not just a “bad experience” you can easily shake off. When you experience trauma, your body and mind react in ways you can’t always control. Maybe you felt powerless during the delivery, maybe the medical team wasn’t as supportive as you needed, or maybe something happened that made you feel like you lost control of your own body. These experiences can have long-lasting effects, and healing is not a quick fix.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that birth trauma isn’t just something that affects you physically. It can alter your relationship with your body, mess with your mental health, and even affect how you bond with your baby. The emotional aftermath can leave you questioning your ability as a parent or make you feel isolated from the joy you expected to feel when your baby arrived. But here’s the thing: you’re not broken, and your feelings are valid.

How to Start Healing

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
   Too often, we try to push down the uncomfortable emotions because we think we’re supposed to feel “grateful” or “happy” after birth. Let me tell you something: there’s no right or wrong way to feel after a traumatic experience. You might feel relief, anger, sadness, frustration, or even numbness—and all of those feelings are okay. You don’t have to rush your healing process. Feel what you need to feel, and know that it’s a part of your journey.

2. Talk About It (Seriously, Talk)
   Birth trauma thrives in silence. If you don’t talk about it, it can fester and feel even heavier. Find someone who understands, whether it’s a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support group. Even if people don’t fully get it, speaking out loud can help you process your emotions. Trust me, the more you talk, the less power your trauma will have over you.

3. Take It One Day at a Time
   Healing isn’t linear. Some days will feel better than others. Some days, you might feel like you’ve made great progress, and other days, it might feel like you’re back at square one. And that’s okay. Give yourself grace—healing is messy, and it’s not a race. Focus on today. What can you do today that will help you move just a little bit closer to feeling like yourself again?

4. Focus on Self-Care
   I know, I know. When you’re a new parent, self-care feels like a pipe dream. But even five minutes of quiet time can make a huge difference. Try taking a warm bath, going for a walk, or simply sitting in a peaceful space for a few minutes. It's not about doing everything perfectly; it’s about carving out small moments for yourself amidst the chaos.

5. Let Go of Perfection
   You don’t have to “bounce back” from birth trauma. You don’t need to be “back to normal” right away, and you don’t need to act like everything’s fine when it’s not. Let go of the pressure to be perfect, and just focus on being present with yourself. Some days you’ll feel strong, and some days you’ll feel fragile—and that’s okay. Give yourself the space to feel it all, without judgment.

6. Reconnect With Your Body
   After a traumatic birth, you might feel disconnected from your body. Whether it’s from physical scars or the emotional aftermath, your body might not feel like it’s “yours” anymore. Take time to reconnect with your body, even if it’s in small ways. Start by acknowledging what it’s done for you—created life, brought your baby into the world. You don’t need to love every part of your body right now, but learning to appreciate it, step by step, is part of healing.

7. Seek Professional Help
   Sometimes, healing from birth trauma requires professional help. If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or intrusive thoughts after birth, a therapist who specializes in birth trauma or postpartum mental health can be incredibly helpful. There’s no shame in seeking support—it’s a brave step toward feeling better.

Recovering from birth trauma is a long road, and it’s okay to not have it all figured out right away. Your journey is uniquely yours, and while it might feel like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back, progress is happening. Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to ask for help along the way. You’re not alone in this—there are people who understand, and you have the strength to heal, even when it feels impossible.

Let’s take this journey together! Check out my website and book a free 15 minute consultation with me.

Jasmine Frazier, LMSW