Mothering Them, Reparenting Me
Motherhood will have you reliving your own childhood real quick. One minute, you’re packing Goldfish and singing Wheels on the Bus, and the next, you’re side-eyeing your toddler because their meltdown just pulled you into your own unhealed shit. If you’ve ever caught yourself reacting in a way that made you think, “Damn, that sounded just like my mom (and not in a good way)”—you’re not alone, mama.
This is where reparenting comes in. It’s the messy, beautiful work of breaking cycles while raising your babies. It’s learning how to give yourself the love, patience, and support you didn’t always get, so you can show up differently for your little ones.
So, What Even Is Reparenting?
Reparenting is exactly what it sounds like—becoming the parent you needed for yourself. It’s filling in those emotional gaps from childhood. The validation you craved? The safe space to feel big feelings? That’s what you start offering yourself now. Not waiting until you’ve got it all figured out (because...lol, good luck with that), but healing while in the thick of motherhood.
Reparenting means talking to yourself kindly, setting boundaries you weren’t taught, and practicing self-compassion even when that inner critic gets loud as hell.
5 Ways to Reparent Yourself Right Now
Alright, let’s get into the good stuff. Here are five ways to start reparenting yourself while you’re still wiping butts, packing lunches, and questioning your entire existence at 3 AM:
1. Give Yourself the Same Grace You Give Your Kids
Would you call your toddler lazy or dramatic for having a bad day? No. So stop doing it to yourself. You’re allowed to be tired, overwhelmed, and human.
2. Get Curious About Your Triggers
That rage-y moment when your kid talks back? Pause. Ask yourself: What is this bringing up from my own childhood? Triggers are little breadcrumbs leading you to unhealed wounds.
3. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
It’s okay to say no. To your kids. To your family. To anyone. Boundaries aren’t mean—they’re necessary. And every time you honor them, you model emotional safety.
4. Validate Your Own Feelings (Yes, Even the Messy Ones)
If you grew up hearing "stop crying" or "you’re too sensitive," it’s time to flip the script. Tell yourself: It’s okay to feel this. I’m safe to feel this.
5. Get Support, Babe
You don’t have to heal alone. Therapy, support groups, mom friends who don’t flinch when you say "this shit is hard"—find your people. Healing happens in community.
Why Therapy Hits Different in Motherhood
Here’s the thing—motherhood is triggering AF, especially if you’re carrying around unresolved trauma or childhood wounds. You’re trying to raise emotionally healthy humans while still learning what that even means for you.
Therapy gives you space to unpack all of it. The guilt, the generational patterns, the moments you swore you’d parent differently but didn’t know how. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being conscious. Breaking cycles. And building the tools to mother your kids—and your inner child—better.
How I Can Help
If this blog hit you in the feels, that’s your sign. This is literally what I help mamas with every single day. I’m here for the messy, complicated, "wtf am I even doing" moments of motherhood. Together, we’ll work on reparenting, healing those deep wounds, and building the kind of motherhood (and selfhood) that actually feels good.
Because you deserve that. And so do your babies.
Let’s take this journey together! Check out my website and book a free 15 minute consultation with me.
Jasmine Frazier, LMSW